''Pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear''

I have a theme song it's that guy phillip from American Idol called "home" I put it on repeat and just take it in. At different times I cry, I laugh I smile, and lately me and jakey just dance in the kitchen to it full blast : ) Dancing to it has been my favorite lately. Sometimes I have to write out my feelings to even understand myself and through this blog I hope it encourages people who are called to be 'Abrahams' in this life. I just have to share what God has been doing lately in me personally. Basically this past year has been a challenge for me. I've learned so much about myself,and most of it I wish i didn't know lol I'm a brat, but you know what else. God has compassion for me even in my worst days. Well heres the good news. Once I hit my 1 year mark. I felt like I had breakthrough : ) and it feels good! Ironically without saying to much. Through this pregnancy I have had soooooo much joy like I've never had before in all my pregnancies(ask my family how I normally am lol)I prayed for joy for a whole year and nothing. I also prayed that my husband wouldn't ask for another child b/c yes I'm one of those people who didn't want a big nest b/c well selfishly I like to be in control. well I surrendered and God won. Through my surrender I have joy<3 Because what I thought was impossible in my own strength is nothing for God to handle. "The joy of the Lord is MY STRENGTH" and I'm running with that promise in this season of welcoming another baby into our family. My point is I have fully embraced the Lord filling my nest with children and callings on my family and I rejoice with Him while doing so.I have had my time to look cute, be single, go where I please, I have had time with my spouse just me and him, I've had my time to selfishly enjoy my life. (Im not saying that all those things are selfish but in my heart I was selfish while doing them) I have fought the Lord in many things but surrendering feels good and I'm happy : )