Live Life Fully: Happy thoughts..Happy places..and a tired heart...

I remember when me and michael were little (I can actually say that now because were 24.. haha) If one of us would get sad we had this inside joke about ''happy places.'' Basically we would choose anywhere in the world to go to in our mind and pretend we were there and call it our ''happy place.'' O the stuff you think of when your 14....anyways I find myself actually going back to those "happy places'' in this season of life. I actually now know how my mom felt when I was growing up and why she would cry at the sound of my grandmas voice. I remember being a little girl and always thinking it was so odd for her to miss her sisters and her mom and her brothers because we were her family but...now I understand : )

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what God is doing right now in my life and I love the place He has brought me. There's so much beauty that lives here. Some days I can't hold back the praises from my lips. Especially the gnarly rainbows I've seen recently : ) but thats on another day on another blog. Right now I have to blog these feelings out just to feel sane. Today (or maybe this birthday weekend of mine) was probably the hardest one yet. I'm not sure why but it was right up there with thanksgiving on "the hard to get through day"list. Considering this is the first time ever being states away from family and were still in our first year here Im hoping Im completely normal.

One of our favorite places of all time ...HB Pier

With all that said I've come to a conclusion of choices I can either wallow and miss my life while missing my "life"or embrace the bittersweet journey God has chosen for me and my family and literally taking him at His WORD "whoever will lose his life for my sake will find it"(Matthew 16:25)

I choose to embrace this season of my life and all that has come with the change before I miss out on making my own family traditions, and memories. I know it's ok to cry and miss everyone to the point where my heart hurts every time my mia pia asks for anyone in our family. I can never seem to get through a holiday with a dry eye and every time we get our phone calls from home I always head for the couch to ask the Lord to console my heart back together. I say all that to make my point. This is unlike anything I've ever done or felt before. Some days I feel so vulnerable like a little girl and others I feel so excited to be away and alone. Either way I would rather be in the perfect will of my Daddy because thats where Im the safest (proverbs 29:25) and thats a realistic happy place where my heart finds rest. <3