goodbye was hard
So as we were boarding a plane back to washington my thoughts were back to cold and lonely. Lets be honest I had a rough year of transition and we were finally easing and embracing a new chapter to our family and adding one more new guy to the crew. I didn't have many friends probably because I discovered how bad I was at making them. When you grow up with cousins you don't have to make friends there just born to you. So I missed ALL my friends back home haha. So here I am on a plane going back to cold and lonely. Not only for myself was it hard but my kids are pretty close to both sets of grandparents so watching them depart each other is always heart wrenching. I normally hold back my tears through the last hugs and kisses goodbye. I'm fake smiling all the way into the terminal. Find my seat in the plane and watch as we leave my home soil and cry it all out as I watch the clouds drown out the city I love and lived in all my life. Full of memories and comfort and grandmas and grandpas;This is my constant battle....everytime.
Well this time I was determine to make friends, sure I had some friends but I meant the kind you feel comfortable around. Comfortable enough to put down the walls in your heart and be real with. The ones I had already I was ready to let them in and actually persue. Relationships are important no matter how much of an introvert you are. I'm not a book reading introvert but I do love an evening alone sewing and finding other crafts to do all by myself and I'm perfectly ok with that. BUT when you live in one of the gloomiest places you need an outlet. desperately
Me and michael were not only determined but vowed to each other to make friends or actually put into the friendships we had. We also prayed for them too. I cannot begin to tell you how eventful this year has been with new memories with friends. God cares! and sometimes its not easy getting over ourselves and putting down all those walls from past hurts or insecurities or even in our case how different we are here. Last night I went over to my friends house....and it was fun! and 2 weeks ago we ended the summer meeting at the lake with some friends and it was fun.
I feel healthy. I still have my days of course but my heart feels full.
Reflecting back I'm so happy I was brave enough to take so many steps out of my comfort zones. Not only did I make friends this year but I've learned so much about everything I don't need to know in the city lol you know things about chickens and wood cutting and types of berries to eat and not eat and make yummy pie with.
Thanks friends!
The last tid bits of a summer
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 Hello Autumn! Lets F A L L in love Espresso maker (check) rain boots (check) wood chopped and kindled (check) emergency kit (check) pumpkins (check) hot chocolate (check) 
I can't wait for my December visit home. which is right around the corner! I will say this though that state that was cold and lonely is no longer lonely still cold, but I'm falling in love more and more with this land full of beauty. I was making my drive to Port Angeles tuesday to do my grocery shopping and I was stunned and captured for the 99th time. It gets me e v e r y t i m e around that lake!I wish I could of got out of the car to take pictures about 50 times but of course I'm on a time limit with 2 little boys. Those trees though, theres just something so healing to the soul about those trees. The evergreens and deers and baby deers. I couldn't help but appreciate where I lived amongst all the things I miss about the city and all the comforts it brings to me. For once I was fully surrendered and grateful.people will disagree with me but i'm so convinced there are no seasons in so cal I love it to death but no seasons except summer. I've never lived anywhere where you have to be prepared and ready for seasons. LA girl reality right there ha! |
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| The umbrella......biggest give away we're from california : ) |
Happy First day of autumn
-Jenny B
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